Marcus the carcass Beard

Lovely cuddly Marcus, with a grin and a hideous suggestion for everyone. In fact, this man is so offensive he makes himself ill. For instance, just the other day, we were chatting about this, that and the other...

Marcus specializes in e-mail valedictions but is not the man responsible for The Hard Pig (apparently). Incidentally, Marcus also likes getting his tits out.

Often seen trundling around Cambridge or buried beneath obsure record shops, "Wheelbarrow", as he is rarely known, rather fancies himself as a curry connasseur or conner-sewer, as his good-as-american sister would probably say, which I suppose, is a cunningly accurate description.